I cannot wait to stop playing this game!
I am utterly confused by it, I played until I got up to being an 'expert handler' but honestly I think this turd needs to go back to the land of wind and ghosts where it belongs.
I've wandered around aimlessly doing fuck all for the last hour... the most exciting part was delivering a pizza to some nobody in a crater in the middle of endless generic-scenery-ville USA while some tedious wanker in a black carbon fibre skull mask with the dumbest sounding name I've ever heard spouts some wankery about delivering shit that might save all of humanity and yet cannot see fit to give me something like a gun that I could shoot at my enemies with (although to be fair at this point I'd have rather turned the gun on myself).
Speaking of desperation and crying does this Kojima bloke have any concept of how babies cry... and by that I mean how the hell is that tedious little bastard I'd like to chuck into the black goo CRYING THROUGH THE PICKLING BRINE HE'S FLOATING AROUND IN? Crying requires vocal chords and oxygen, at least some form of gas passing the vocal chords... Jesus I'd like to stamp on the jar this little fucker is bobbing around in while he does nothing for me other than attract enemies? Maybe there's some way to use the thing for beneficial purposes... there's probably been some cryptic 6pt small fonts text on screen that I missed amongst all of the rest of the tiny text, icons and fuck-knows what else that I've had to move across the sitting room closer to the TV to be able to read.
So many dynamics that don't appear to have any bearing on the overall "storyline", yay I got a bola gun but wait it doesn't kill them, I have to allow them to get up again and then beat them down like I should have done in the first place.
No, no thanks I'm going back to RDR2 story mode or Rust on the PC... or Minesweeper. Christ I'd take Spider Solitaire over this and I have no idea how to play card games! Those are games, this is a load of disjointed cut scenes with a 'gameplay' dynamic thrown in to string together this half arsed excuse for a storyline, it's clear this Kojima bloke is no Akira Kurosawa but obviously has lob on for him and is trying very hard to conjure up some canon to build on... if he's lucky he'll be able to compost this down in no time.
Here's a short list of other things I don't like:
- The map is cryptic and difficult to navigate as it's too busy.
- I don't feel any connection to any of the main characters (you know, all four of them).
- I don't really know what I'm meant to be doing other than delivering the odd package?
- Hang on, is the aim of the game to deliver packages? That's it?
- You should all be ashamed for buying it.
- I have the moral high ground because I didn't buy it my wife did.
- My wife only bought it because she likes the look of Norman Reedus' bottom.
- ...you can occasionally see his arse meat when he needlessly showers...
- As above, the game is arse.
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