Friday, September 27, 2024

The Krypt Keeper is BACK! Recap of Thursday's Reaction-UNR

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"Alexandra Rodriguez gives Mothering advice as a mom of 3 WEEKS"

After an extended hospitalization for a "shoulder injury" then "Lyme Disease" 😉😉our favorite underdog Reaction Channel is BACK and the Krypt Keeper is looking both perkier and even more cadaverous than usual. Shhh, it's a wig (IYKYK) She's got her beauty filter CRANKed up to "Trick of Treat" and, as per ush, a stick up her ass.

We open with Alex in her immaculate and admittedly lovely "cozy fall kitchen" KK calls Alex's Snoopy Halloween t-shirt "childish and stupid" In a voice that could only have been created by a 30 year, 2-pack-a-day Winston 100's habit, Creepella sneers "Get a life Alex! No one actually lives like this. Like, seriously, get a life, get a REAL one. This is so fake, so fake, SO FAKE" (the vocal fry in this "so fake" makes me think of "Redrum, RedRuuuuum!") She emulates her idol and Kult leader Michelle by telling Alex "STFU. You are NOT cute, you're too much of a tank to be cute. You don't know the first thing about keeping it cute. You make me want to throw up" So much for "we don't hate her because she's fat" This is pretty rich coming from a woman who makes Norman Reedus pull out his crossbow when she walks by.

Alex says her mom is on the way over and that they will be going to a Fall Festival, she's happy that the weather is cool. She shows us a pretty little necklace that she ordered with Anderson's name. Skeletor isn't having it- "You're just so desperate to let everybody know that you're a Mawwwwm now, right?" and again admonishes Alex to STFU. (comment below if you bought/had a piece of jewelry, coffee mug or frame with your baby's name or the word MOM on it during the first month of your firstborn's life. I had all 3)

Now this creature launches into a long rant saying that Alex "hasn't spent any time with this baby, like zero time" and hasn't even figured out how to hold him. She has some valuable advice for Alex "you'd better get your shit together because you can tell people all day long that's you're a mom, but in the end it actually shows by your actions" Let's just take a moment to talk about Carrie's actions, shall we? This skull-in-a-wig is accusing Alex of not properly mothering her child. I want to remind everyone that old Carrie here gave us her personal history and told us herself that she was "an addict" for over 10 years and because of her addiction, she lost custody of her son when he was very young. And her husband threw her out. She's also told us that she's been "clean" for the past 8 years (coff coff 🐂💩 ) So, judging by the age her son is now, we can accurately deduce that this hagard bag of bones missed over TEN YEARS of her own son's childhood because she chose being a junkie over being a mother. Sorry, Krypt Keeper, you are TOTALLY DISQUALIFIED from judging ANY other woman's mothering. Forever.

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Now Alex is in her office putting on makeup and KK has another Vocal Fry Meltdown "You did not just say girly paaawwwwwwwwp, nunununuNOOO" Another example of her parroting what the other reaction channels are saying. She wants so badly to sit at the Gorlworld Mean Gorls table. With an epic eyeroll, she skips thru the make-up segment. Now we're at the Fall Festival and Alex is showing off a container of nachos that is way too heavy on the sour cream for my (self diagnosed) lactose-intolerant ass. [Side Rant--Have you ever noticed that ALL of these Gorls are dairy addicts, especially cheese and sour cream? It can't be a coincidence] KK bitches about Alex and Nancy going straight for the food first thing. Nancy holds up a container of fresh, warm mini donuts and provokes the skag addict to go off and chastise the sugar addicts. Next we're treated to a fabulous little moment of KK mocking Alex's laughing:

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So now Alex is home with Yar, they're watching Bad Monkey (love me some Vince Vaughn, love me some Carl Hiaasen) and this hag is triggered! "Why don't you go take your dog for a walk, hmm?" [Side rant- I'm triggered by those 2 clashing floor lamps- that new black lamp belongs in Perez Hilton's living room or a Jojo Siwa music video] Less than 2 minutes later Alex is...SURPRISE, talking Bruno for a walk. She has a Core Power protein drink with her which KK calls "a fatass chocolate milk" For the record, this was the first and only time I busted out laughing while watching this Reaction Video. KK goes on to bitch and says "she doesn't walk this dog- EVER" How many dozens of times have we seen Alex walk this dog in past vlogs? Last week even. "WHY can't you walk your dog? Why do you have him? Is that for the aesthetic too? You SICK person. I get what Priscilla meant by you are just so greedy. You are SO greedy. You're just GREEEEDY" [Side Note--At least Alex has managed to keep her dog alive...Alex 1, Carrie 0]

Now Alex is showing off (a somewhat tacky and probably spendy) windchime crafted from an old whiskey bottle that she picked up at the Fall Festival as a holiday gift for a family member. KK sneers "No one believes that this is actually for a family member. I don't believe that at all. I've never seen her give anything to anyone. EVUUR" Tell me, Krypt Keeper, do you adopt a needy family every year and buy them a boatload of gifts- toys, pajamas, outfits and new coats for the kids, gift cards for the parents? Did you ever give your postal carrier or trash collecter a Thank You gift card? Yeah, I thought not.

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Alex talks about her first 4 weeks as a new mother and Mummy of the Year snots "Bitch, I still don't believe that you gave birth. No I do not. Not at all" Alex holds Anderson close to her and kisses his liitle head (my heart melts...just a little) and starts to explain how he likes to do Tummy Time. The Krypt Keeper viciously tears into her "That baby is WAY too young to be doing Tummy Time. They're supposed to be able to lift their heads" Well, of courses, she's WRONG again. New parents are encouraged to begin Tummy Time with their infants during their first week of life. "Fake ass bitch. You don't have a clue. You are so lost. There are so many of us out here who are mothers, I know what your bullshit is and I'm gonna call you out every time"

This bish is running on pure hatred and envy. I'm gonna call HER bullshit out every time too. Any person who had to choose between leaving their baby for an hour with Alex or with the woman who chose drugs over her toddler would choose Alex without having to think about it. NO ONE in their right mind would leave a small child with this creepshow much less take Mothering advice from it.

Cousin It has 350 subscribers and says she'll be doing a $50 gift card giveaway when she hits 500. IMO, this is more of a Tribute Channel to get her noticed by her idol Michelle. The only Reacting going on here mocking, sneering and eyerolling. The only commentary is jealous seething and telling Alex to STFU. I'm sure she can't wait for Michelle to react to this.

https://ift.tt/dN03n4M Tuned For Everything Norman We Don't Mess Around when it comes to things pertaining to the man.

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