TL;DR I went into this game blind, I try to describe the first hour of the game, and this game is already the weirdest and the best thing I have ever seen
I went into this game 100% blind, so zero context or lore or anything. The only thing I was aware of is Norman Reedus was in this game, and it was a Kojima game. A friend who owns a PS4 told me that if this game were to ever come to PC I should pick it up ASAP. He said, don't look anything up, just play the first hour or so and tell me what you think. So I did.
First, I saw the credits and more famous people in one video game than I've seen in my entire Steam library. Then, I see Sam watch as some bird just melts into goo as soon as the rain starts. Shortly after, I was instructed to hobble over to a bunch of drugs and put them on my back like a turtle. So I hobbled over to a cave, where Sam immediately starts taking his clothes off for some reason, and then some lady wearing a suit that looks like one of those black lava lamp things starts grabbing his arm. I'm thinking "huh, this is different" when handprints start crawling everywhere, and they're trying not to breathe. Then, the handprints leave and I go and grab more crates of drugs and other assorted goodies. I go and deliver them, and I get to see how many likes I got, which I thought I was playing Death Stranding, not browsing Facebook.
But then, some guy tells me to hop in his truck because dead bodies turn black and explode or something, and we need to burn it. He then shows Sam a baby in a jar who's connected to tubes, and that baby starts banging on the glass. So Sam hops in the truck with the rapidly blackening body and his canned baby, and they start talking about good old 'Murica back in the day. They also mention a certain Vanguard-class titan from Titanfall 2? Then another raincloud comes, and black goo starts spreading, and some guy is crushed by a truck. And just when I think "how are they going to beat the invisible monsters? Is the jar o' baby the key?" one of them is swallowed up by the souls of the damned swimming in that goo, and the other guy tries to escape but he's lifted up by some Cthulhu thing with what looked like a hand for a head. He then starts aggressively stabbing himself, and then Sam shields the baby as the Cthulhu thing goes nuclear and then he dies.
Then, Sam wakes up nude on a beach with dead fish, and then some lady starts singing a creepy song and drowns herself, and Sam follows her and also drowns. But then, I have to swim to my body and I see myself get shoved down Sam's throat, where there's the baby popping his head out, then I get shoved down the baby's throat that's in Sam's throat, like a throatduckin. Then finally, I meet Guillermo del Toro's character, who tells me that the handcuff on my arm is also a map+menu+phone and that BTW you died and can come back to life whenever, and that I need to sprint over to the President's office to give her even more drugs because she's dying of cancer.
So I sprint over to her office and I give her the drugs, and then I find out she's also my mother? And I have a sister of some sorts? And that I'm now contractually obligated to rebuild America by walking with boxes like the world's slowest Fed Ex/UPS. So now I have the President's dead body on my bag and I need to rush to an incinerator in secret. And I needed to pause it to process what the fuck just happened in the last hour.
I know this post makes zero sense and is just rambling, and I'm sure everyone has more context than myself, but rereading this post made me realize the absurdity of what I just watched. Everything made absolutely no sense, but it also did make sense. With every single moment, I found my jaw dropping lower and me going "what" every 10 seconds. I've never taken drugs in my life, but goddamn I think I found the next closest thing. I'm one hour into this game and it's already one of the greatest things I have ever seen.
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